More God Speak

meditation-r

Dear Child:

Rest in me.  I will not let you fail.  Close your ears to the chatter of those around you and open your heart to me alone.  When you despair, listen for MY voice. 

Do not allow those with selfish, egotistical motives to harm your heart.  Fill yourself with my love and know that I will protect you and continue to guide you.

Continue your meditations and persist in asking for my will. Be open to the miracles that follow. All is well.

Dry your tears, dear one. 

You are loved.

God.

© 2011, Bobbe Ann Crouch


 

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

— Philippians 4:4-5 (NIV)


From The Angels:

truth-intergrity Truth & Integrity:  You have the strength to stand strong in the midst of difficult situations, and the wisdom it takes to make good decisions. If something in your life isn’t working, be willing to release it to God and the angels.

Understand you are important, and know that you are called to add value to the world around you. No matter where you are in life today, you have potential to increase, grow, to be strengthened, and to move forward. God created you for His good purpose and you are His masterpiece!

image Archangel Michael: Rapid change is often unsettling and can be stressful, but only because it seems to be too rapid and therefore threatening. Remember that you have agreed on the higher level to be part of the change, and that the changes are to bring in Light, Love, Joy and Abundance.

Operate from your Heart rather than your head. If there is fear, then it is coming from your head. Stay grounded and open, and be practical. If you are in the flow of Divine Creative energy, then you cannot fail.

Archangel Michael is making his presence know to you. Remember that you are Safe and Protected at all times, and that all is in Divine Order at all times! If you trust Divine Order, and not your old habits, you will be fine! God and the angels will help you stay true to yourself during trying times.

 

study Study: Don’t let the pressures of life push those dreams down. Stir up those dreams. Shake off every disappointment and press forward. This is a new day. Get a new vision. Make up your mind that no matter what comes your way, you are going to keep pressing forward. This is an important time for you to learn new ideas or skills.

You are going to keep growing. You are going to keep learning. You are going to stay active. If you will stay passionate about life, knowing what your purpose is and being your best every day, God will pour out His blessings to you. Perhaps you feel guided to enroll in a class and this card confirms that feeling.

Make the choice to keep your dreams in front of you. Remember, you have a purpose. You have a destiny. You were created to make a difference to impact our society to make this world a better place. You are being guided to enroll in class, continue your education.


Father of Mercy,

forgive my failings,

keep me in Your Grace,

and lead me in the way of salvation.

Give me strength in serving You

as a follower of Christ.

May the Eucharist bring me Your Forgiveness

and give me freedom to serve You all my life.

May it help me to remain faithful

and give me the grace I need in Your service.

May it teach me the way to eternal life.

Amen

 

Hope Whispers

god-listenings

Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

 

The darkest periods of my life have always been the most hope-filled. I can’t pinpoint who taught me this or when, as I cannot recall a time this wasn’t in my heart. The times I have been face down on the pavement of life, I’ve always had one eye focused on the love of God and the Blessing that’s surely on the way.

These are the times my heart whispers to me, “God will heal this. God sees you. God sees!”

I believe the Almighty does see, hear and feel everything I go through on this earth. Being the loving father He is to me; He waits for me to find the lesson of the experience; and when I do, He sends His grace.

That being said, it’s a dark time for me right now. For days I’ve been up at five am succumbing to tears and lamentations. It’s so hard to find the hope in a situation that keeps replaying itself in the exact same manner year after year. I keep telling myself, “God sees”, yet for the moment, it isn’t bringing me any resolution.

I do not know what to do in order to fix this. I don’t know that it can be fixed. I know perfectly well that the definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over again expecting a different result. However, in this case, I am not the one repeating the same action and I already feel I have tried every possible approach.

Still in all, I keep one eye open, knowing unequivocally that through every single period of darkness in my life, God has revealed Himself to me in miraculous ways.

And so I will pray again, believing God will heal this situation, and He will.

Dear God:

I can’t. You can. Please Do.

Thank you in advance.

I love you.

Amen.

 


From The Angels:

romance Romance: Your angels have heard your appeals for romance.

If you are doing something you love to do, if you are engaged and passionate, it is like a giant beacon. Embrace the strong, fearless side of you personality that you may have forgotten about.

The angels may ask you to join a group or take a class in which you might meet someone with similar interests. Follow this guidance and you will discover the romance you are seeking.

blessings Blessings: As you continue the journey of rediscovering your Divine nature, we surround you with our love and blessings.

Your success will come from facing your challenges when they arise and discovering new paradigm solutions. You will have opportunities to pinpoint and resolve many longstanding issues during this cycle. The key here is staying in the present and addressing what is there, when it is in front of you. This means avoiding the temptation to procrastinate. It means developing more self-trust and more in-the-moment connection with your inner wisdom.

listening Listening: It’s easy to get busy in life trying to do everything at once. You can listen and work at the same time but sometimes multi-tasking isn’t the best use of our time. Sometimes we have to stop, look people in the eyes, and give them the gift of listening.

We need to take time to deposit value in their hearts. We need to support one another, and listening is an amazing way of doing just that.

As you go about your day, the angels remind you to give people the gift of listening. It seems like such a little thing, but those little deposits will eventually make a big difference. When you make deposits in people, you are making deposits in eternity, and that is what pleases the heart of God.

Bonus:
trust Trust: You have to be willing to pour in everything you have before you can see Gods increase flowing in your life. Believe in yourself, the angels emphasize the value of self-trust.

The angels encourage you to give God what you have in your hands today, and as you stay faithful to do your part, God will do His part.

When you put action behind your faith and trust God, He will pour wisdom, strength, and creativity into you and help you accomplish the dreams and desires He has placed in your heart. The angels ask you to trust in God and to trust in them, they will help you trust yourself.


Blessed are they who give
without expecting even thanks in return,
for they shall be abundantly rewarded.

Blessed are they who translate
every good thing they know into action,
for ever higher truths shall be revealed unto them.

Blessed are they who do God’s will
without asking to see results,
for great shall be their recompense.

Blessed are they who love and trust their fellow beings,
for they shall reach the good in people and
receive a loving response.

Blessed are they who have seen reality, for they know
that not the garment of clay but that which activates
the garment of clay is real and indestructible.

Blessed are they who see the change we call death
as a liberation from the limitation of this earth-life,
for they shall rejoice with their loved ones
who make the glorious transition.

Blessed are they who after dedicating their lives
and thereby receiving a blessing, have the courage and faith
to surmount the difficulties of the path ahead,
for they shall receive a second blessing.

Blessed are they who advance toward the spiritual path
without the selfish motive of seeking inner peace,
for they shall find it.

Blessed are they who instead of trying to
batter down the gates of the kingdom of heaven
approach them humbly and lovingly and purified,
for they shall pass right through.

~Mildred Norman


Dear Lord:

Remind me of anyone I need to forgive today (especially myself), and then please help me to obey you in this.

Amen

Love One Another.

god-listenings

I was popping through some of my old writing and I found the following recount of an experience I had back in 2008.  I post this as a reminder that we are ALL special to God and if we are open to receiving signs, they absolutely do come in all forms.

There is never a time, place or situation where all of heaven are not present in our lives. We are most definitely not alone.

PS:  I left the card reading that went with this story knowing full well I’m meant to leave it so it will speak to one of you the way it’s supposed to.
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The following is the true account of an experience I had on Wednesday, April 2, 2008.

Wednesday, I was taking a break from work to run my little dog Jack, to Wendy’s for a 1655_107595240572_1161_ncheeseburger. (Yes, he’s a tad spoiled but that’s another story). When I leaned over to unlock the car door, I felt a concentrated breeze pull together and shoot right up my nose.

The aroma? Roses.

I giggled with delight!

In that same moment I swirled around, nose to the air, giggling and sniffing like a lunatic. I was breathing in pure and utter joy. I knew what the roses were, but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t jumping to conclusions. (It’s spring-time and it could have been trees blooming nearby.)

But it wasn’t. No blooms anywhere.

I giggled some more and did a little dance right by my car.

The aroma of roses is just one of the signs The Blessed Mother uses to signal Her presence. I’ve smelled it many times before.

Typically, like yesterday, it’s when I least expect it or I need it the most.

I stopped and silently said these words; “I know. ‘Mary’s in the wind.’ Hello Mary! Thank you so much! I love you!”. I giggled some more.

Two seconds later I was in the car, carrying on with the tasks of the day.

Wednesday (the same night), I had the following dream:

“I am in an office feeling very VERY disgruntled and oppressed. Former colleagues and co-workers are milling about and I wonder why I am STILL here. I’m waiting for someone to tell me it’s my time to leave. I am impatient. I pace up and down the aisles just filling time. Finally, I receive word it’s time for me to go. I am to go find a particular Doctor and escort him. I have no idea who or where, but I leave to go find him.

I cross the threshold and step into another dimension. I am in a foreign country that feels “old worldly”, but this isn’t important to me. I am put out because I have to find the Doctor and no one bothered to tell me who or where he is.

I make my way up a crowded street, notice a huge group of people and I fall into line with them. I realize enough to know this is the line where I will find the Doctor. I follow the crowd up a grassy hill to a church-like structure.

“So many people”, I think to myself.

I hear someone say, “Pope John Paul II was supposed to be here too but he could not make it.”

I mutter to myself, “Yeah. That’s because he died. Awww. I always loved him. He was such a kind soul”.

I keep step with the crowd. We are moving forward at a pretty fast pace.

When I reach the point I can see it’s almost my turn, I can see I’m in the front part of a very old church. The architecture is fabulous. In the left corner, a girl stands at a card table. People go to her, she hands them their tickets and they go inside. I feel slightly uneasy. I know there is no ticket for me and I am not sure the girl will understand that I’m only there to find the Doctor. Will she even speak English?

When it’s my turn, all of the people vanish and it’s just she and I alone. I am thinking she will not have a ticket for me because I am certainly not on her list. I don’t even know what event I’d been in line for. I was only looking for the Doctor.

She picks up her pad, writes something, tears it off and hands it to me. My eyes lift to meet hers.

I recognize her instantly and crumble to my knees in humble tears.

“Oh my God. It’s YOU! You KNOW me? I cannot believe you remember me!”

(I support myself by holding her forearms and she is leaning over me slightly trying to bring me back up. She doesn’t want me to kneel before her.)

She says, “Oh course I remember you. We all do. We know you by name.”

I respond, “No no no. This place is reserved for special people. I’m not special. This is a mistake”. I’m crying…so shocked…so dumb-founded.

In a moment, I regain enough composure to catch site of the paper she’s handed me. It is a prescription slip from a Doctor’s prescription pad. I feel relieved. I know the Doctor’s name is imprinted on the paper. I’ll be able to read it and then be on my way to find him. I bring it up to my face to read, still holding onto Vicka for support.

I am awestruck again. This time I fall to my knees and bury my head beneath my hands.

“Oh my God, my GOD!!”, I begin to sob, “My NAME. My NAME is here and it is spelled right”.

I look at the page and my name is written, “B, Bobbe Crouch”. I begin to sob again.

Overcome, I rise to my feet and start to back away from the dear girl. I tell her, “No. I am not special enough to be here. I know what this place is. This is not my place!”

She raises her hand to beckon me forward, but she doesn’t approach me.

She says, “Yes. Yes, you ARE meant to be here. Come. Come. She still knows you by name. She loves you. We love you.”

I say, “No. No. I can’t go in there. Only the Holiest of Holy are allowed to be present. I am not worthy of it”.

She giggles and takes my hand. “Yes. You are. Let’s go ask Her. Let Her tell you Herself”.

I can barely breathe.

We step across the threshold of a packed Cathedral-like structure. I am so humbled and embarrassed and overcome with emotion. She leads me to the front, where I see another familiar face. It’s Mirjana about to have an apparition.

“I cannot be here. Why is she facing me? She shouldn’t be facing ME?”, thoughts just flood my brain faster than I can process them.

I am remembering ALL of the times I’d been present at the Marian conferences, when one of the visionaries experienced an apparition -ONLY the very ill and very Holy were invited to be present in the room. Yet, here I was and she was facing me about to speak directly TO me.

“I’m not special. I’m not worthy.”

Vicka whispers, “Oh yes you are. Our Lady loves you and She’s called for you especially.”

I can’t remember what happened next other than to say there was a dialogue and a long one. I woke up saying the “Glory Be” but I didn’t remember why until I got up and went down for coffee with Charlie.

When I remembered the dream I sat down on the couch and bawled my eyes out. Then I remembered smelling the roses the afternoon before the dream. OMG. I had completely forgotten that.

“I’ve come full circle. It’s time”. “B, Bobbe Crouch….that means: BE Bobbe Crouch! OMG”.

Yesterday I felt a peace I’ve not felt in a long while. Most of you are about to find out that my roots with the angels began with a journey I took with The Blessed Mother twenty years ago. Lately I’ve been feeling an inner pull to begin to talk more specifically about it, but I’m such a good human, I’ve been waiting for a certified letter from heaven giving me specific instructions on the where, when and how”. HA!

Yesterday, I came to the office and got on the web and did a search on Medjugorje. I wanted to find photos of the two women in my dream, so I could confirm for myself, what I all ready knew. Vicka and Mirjana are two of the six children (who are not children any more) to whom the Blessed Mother began appearing in 1981. The apparitions continue to this day; though for some of them, it’s no longer daily, but an annual occurence.

I went to the official website and not only found my proof, but I also found this:

“Our Lady has also been appearing to Mirjana on the 2nd of each month since August 2, 1987 for the express purpose of praying for all unbelievers. Mirjana tells us that it is very important that all of us pray for the unbelievers in the world, who are defined as those who do not yet know God’s love.”

Wednesday was the 2nd of April.

I’m going to end here with the promise that I’ll start explaining all this soon. In the meantime realize that we are all receiving signs at this time. It’s up to us to pay attention and to have enough courage to listen and act.

Before you ask me, yes. The Blessed Mother I speak of here is the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of Jesus, Mother of ALL. Her message to the World is NOT just for Christians. Her message has always been one of love. She wants us all to find our faith and return to loving God and to loving one another.

This isn’t about organized religion at ALL. It’s about the conversion of souls. It’s all about LOVE.


From The Angels:

enchantment Enchantment: Recapture your childlike sense of wonder and awe. View the world as a magical place.

Remember when you were a child and how magical the world seemed? The sense of enchantment is the spirit of our inner child. Somewhere along the way, did you lose that sense of wonder?

The angels ask you to recapture your magical sense by remembering that a miraculous power surrounds you. Ask God and the angels to help you with anything (small or large). Don’t worry-you aren’t removing angels from “more important”tasks when you ask for their help with everyday situations. They truly want to support you so that you are free of worries. In that way, you exude the joy and wonder of children who trust that they are taken care of. And when you are joyful, your Divine light inspires everyone who sees you.

power Power: You now allow yourself to express your power. Being powerful is safe for you, knowing that you express your power with love.

You have all of the power of your Creator within you! All the power of Divine love, wisdom, and intelligence is available to you. You have the spiritual power to see angels and the future. You have intellectual power to tap in to the universal wisdom of the One Mind. You have emotional power to empathize with others, and physical power that is truly unlimited.

The angels ask you to give them any fears you may have connected with being a powerful person. Your angels see a quiet and beautiful aspect of your true power, stemming from the only power in the universe: Divine love. Allow yourself to shine with this radiant love so that your true power can radiate out into the world in miraculous ways.

image Archangel Micheal: This powerful archangel is with you right now. He gives you courage and helps release you from the effects of fear.

Through this card, Archangel Michael is making his presence known to you. He is the symbol of true courage, stemming from knowing that God’s love is the only power there is. Michael is letting you know that, as you make changes in your life and as you encounter challenges, you are safe and secure. God and the angels help you stay true to yourself during trying times.

Have heart-to-heart discussions with Michael often. Pour out all of your concerns to him. Don’t worry about overburdening him. Michael, like all of the archangels, is able to be with everyone simultaneously who needs him. He has no limitations of time or space,so he can help you and others concurrently.

(The cards I use in all of my readings are by Doreen Virtue, Healing with the Angels ©1999, Hay House)

 

Dearest Lord,

Help me to remember that there is never a time or place where you are not present with me. Help me to remember that you know the contents of my heart without my having to do a thing. Open my eyes and my heart to receive you better and to increase my faith more. Prompt me to open up and talk with you more. I know your grace is there.

Through you, I can do all things. Nothing is impossible.

Thank you so much for all that you do for me, seen and unseen.

I love you.

Amen

Church Lady Woes

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This morning before I got out of bed, I laid there in an attempt to pray. I was lying there asking God to take care of my loved ones and to keep everyone happy, healthy and secure. Also I was seeking help on my current employment situation. (I am just not sure I am supposed to be where I am any more.)

In a nano second my mind wandered away, thinking about how much I love my work and the many positive experiences I get to have while working in a church that isn’t of my denomination. I am Catholic. I work for a liberal Baptist church. Their hands are in everything imaginable and it’s a beautiful thing to witness and on occasion, to get to be involved in.

What has always interested me about this job is what goes on behind the scenes. Growing up a Catholic girl, I only experienced Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation Masses, funerals and Weddings. Aside from the one time as an adult that I joined a new church, I don’t recall ever setting foot inside a church office.

(Wait. There was one other time where I visited a favorite Priest to talk with him about my experience with The Blessed Mother and the Angels. That was a lovely experience I will talk about another day.)

The point is that I don’t think I ever thought about what goes into running a church. Who makes the decisions;how do things operate; how do the bills get paid; where does the money come from? Who steers the direction? Who decides what events to have, etc. Does “The church lady” really exist?

It is mind boggling. (She does exist, by the way, and she has lots of church lady friends.)

Catholics look to the clergy and the clergy have a very clear hierarchy. Most Catholic Churches have a Parish administrator who handles the business end of their affairs and there isn’t much wiggle room. This is not the case where I work. Everything done within my workplace is done by committee. One team handles personnel, another team handles, finances, another team handles worship, another team handles memorials and so on, and on, and on. Every three years the teams rotate.

For the most part everything works out just fine, but there are some years where the tides turn and I start to feel frustrated when things are done that I personally do not agree with. Usually problems occur when someone appears to be acting out of ego instead of what’s in the best interest of the church. This is where I am right now. I don’t like ego-driven anything especially when it interferes with my work happiness.

For the first time I find myself seriously questioning whether or not I am in the right place. It makes me sad.

Returning to my prayers with apologies to the Lord for being so distracted, I hear in my heart:

Dear Child:

Be still and know that I am near. You will hear my direction when your heart is clear and the time is right. For now, offer your best in all that you do. Do take better care of your temple. In this, you will find your joy.

Breathe in. Fill yourself with my love. It is there.

All is well.

God.


Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?  Matthew 6:25-34


From the Angels:

divine-timing Divine Timing: Change can be fast, yet keep in mind the importance of patience and Divine timing, developing a trust in the unseen mysteries of spirit working in your life.

The more that you can approach your own shifting with loving kindness, the smoother your road of change will be. On some days it may still feel like a roller coaster ride, yet your self-love can help you to have the necessary steadiness within.

Pay close attention to doors that are open to you. As you continue the journey of rediscovering your Divine nature, angels surround you with their love and blessings.

imageHealing: The highest purpose of your healer guides is to restore your self-awareness and self-esteem as children of God and help you accept the love and unlimited blessings that God grants you.

Opening your heart and mind to your worthiness is the best healing of all.

harmony Harmony: Strife, confusion and conflict be gone. A difference of opinion has clouded your thoughts.

If you change your focus and look for the common ground of peace, you can bring harmony into your relationships again.

You know that one of the most powerful ways you can fight for your relationships is to be a peacemaker? Beloved child of God, you are a peace-lover at heart. You are bringing unity into your relationships.

Focus and look for the common ground of peace, you can bring harmony into your relationships again, you become an Earth angel. Remember, God and the angels tells us that blessed are the peacemakers. When we dwell together in unity, we honor God and open the door for His hand of blessing in every area of our lives!


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Life is a tapestry: We are the warp; angels, the weft; God, the weaver. Only the Weaver sees the whole design.

 

Baubles & Blessings. Trinkets &Tears.

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This is actually a repeat of a blog I did years ago. It could have been written yesterday as things are still the same. I am leaving it here because a lot of you do not know my whole background. Rather than tell the entire long, boring story, this is a little snippet of what I sometimes experience when I visit with the parents on Thursdays.


In getting used to writing regularly again, I’m finding myself ready to talk about more personal things. For a time I held back,  unsure I should be revealing the total truth. Today, I feel like who really cares what anyone thinks, provided I’m speaking my truth and I always do.

I have spoken a little about going to visit my mother and how it’s been a Blessing in my life to reconnect. Today I visited again and we laughed and joked and talked about old times. We talked about my writing my book, (and of course, she has her ideas about what I should write about).

It was a bit hard towards the end of our visit when she accidentally shared with me that she’s all ready given most of my Grandmother’s jewelry and hers too, to my daughter and sister. Although, I am not one who is really interested in material things, it was hard to hear this today, feeling like I’d been passed over as “non-existent”. Still, I tried to be cheerful when she related how my daughter always gets her way; how even though C. doesn’t usually wear jewelry, she’s managed to conquer most of the best pieces. I tried to make a few nice comments, “I’m glad for her. It’s nice that she’s finally wearing nice things…” It was a struggle for me. All my heart could feel was, “Why doesn’t anyone in this family ever think about me?”

I guess my Mom saw me struggling unsuccessfully to be cheerful. I had a smile on my face but I was wishing I could run out of there to bawl my eyes out. It’s not about the “stuff” for me at all. It’s about being forever treated like I am not a true member of the family. It’s about being consistently last.

My Grandparents were the most special people in the world to me. I was actually the closest one to both of them, but Mom either doesn’t remember this or she’s chosen not to care. It is devastating to me at times, but I always put on a brave face.

I could see in my Mom’s expression that she was kicking herself for having said what she did. She didn’t intend to hurt me and I know she felt an immediate need to make up for it. So she forced me into the room where the jewelry safe has always been and she wouldn’t look at me, knowing I had tears streaming down my face. She forced me to stand there while she opened it, trying to attempt to save my feelings, saying, “there isn’t much left, but you can pick too”.

I don’t fault her for anything yet, it really hurts to know that I wasn’t even thought of when this distribution took place. I guess she she did what she thought best. I WAS gone for three years, after all.

Still it hurts. In a perfect world, she’d have given what she wanted to and saved the balance for us to share equally. This is what she did when my Grandmother died and she was left everything. She said she could not possibly be at peace knowing she had a brother and sister who loved their mother as much as she did…and keep the things to herself. So she waited until my Grandfather died and then they drew straws and picked fairly.

There were things she didn’t get but I remember her telling me she was at peace because she “did the right thing”. I cannot help but wonder why she hasn’t used the same measure of balance for her own children and Grandchild.

It’s hard for me because I was the closest to my Grandparents. It’s hard for me because yesterday, I felt humiliated-like an after thought-when she forced me into the room to pick something. She forced two rings on me, which I am grateful for because they turned out to be things that have sentimental value for me; but by and large, I just wanted to run out of there.

This is a pattern in my family. Negative attention has always been fed and rewarded and that’s all I will say about that at this time.

I worked with my father for twenty seven years and in the end was left with nothing when he decided he needed the income and he sold our business. In fact, he gave my sister and daughter all of the equipment and furniture from my office. My daughter and sister have been allowed anything and everything they’ve wanted. Now all of this jewelry stuff.

I have a hard time understanding why things in my life have played out the way they have. In my heart, I have an idea, but it sure doesn’t take the pain away.

On the way home, through my tears, I kept hearing, “the meek shall inherit the earth”. I know it sounds crazy but this is what repeated over and over in my brain. I thanked God through my tears and shouted out that while I may not have the mementos, I have had the love and that means MORE.

Years from now I will remember these times with my Mom that are four uninterrupted hours, once per week, of solid visit time where we share openly and honestly. MOST times we giggle and laugh and other times I burst into tears and try to tell her how I feel. It won’t change the behavior, but at least I am able to express myself.

The Blessing in all of this is that she listens. How many people get to speak from the heart like this and have her mother actually HEAR? I don’t know. What I DO know is that this is what I’ve needed my entire life so yes, it’s worth way MORE than jewels and material possessions. I have her ear, her heart and her time and I’m saying things I want to say before she leaves this earth. In a few years, I’ll feel peace. My sister and daughter will still have the baubles, but I’ll have important memories..

It seems my lesson is almost always one of learning to shift one’s perspective in order to see the bright side of life. Believe me, it’s never easy to do, but the result is always a good one.

Count your Blessings. They ARE there.


From The Angels:

listening Listening: It’s easy to get busy in life trying to do everything at once. You can listen and work at the same time but sometimes multi-tasking isn’t the best use of our time. Sometimes we have to stop, look people in the eyes, and give them the gift of listening.

We need to take time to deposit value in their hearts. We need to support one another, and listening is an amazing way of doing just that.

As you go about your day, the angels remind you to give people the gift of listening. It seems like such a little thing, but those little deposits will eventually make a big difference. When you make deposits in people, you are making deposits in eternity, and that is what pleases the heart of God.

image Support: God, the angels, and all who love, protect, and guide you are watching over you right now. When you take time to communicate with God and the angels, they are able to pour out power and strength into our lives.

This card reassures in the multitude of anxious thoughts within you. Divine love comforts you. They will comfort you with the energy of Divine love.

If you ever feel doubtful about your ability to help others, ask the angels to help you release these fears.

truth-intergrity Truth & Integrity: You have the strength to stand strong in the midst of difficult situations, and the wisdom it takes to make good decisions. If something in your life isn’t working, be willing to release it to God and the angels.

Understand you are important, and know that you are called to add value to the world around you. No matter where you are in life today, you have potential to increase, grow, to be strengthened, and to move forward. God created you for His good purpose and you are His masterpiece!


Today’s Prayers

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. — Romans 5:1-2 (NIV)

 

Dear God:
I Can’t.
YOU Can.
Please Do.
Thank you.
Amen

Mistaken Identity

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Growing up I was one of the kids always picked last in gym class. Although I remember cringing sometimes, most of the time I just did not care. I wasn’t a particularly uncoordinated kid or overweight or weak. My issue was being afraid to really try for fear of making a fool out of myself, which in itself was kind of funny, since I spent most of my time purposefully making people laugh. No one tortured me or made huge fun of me either. They just didn’t want me on their team. Fine.

I was not put in honor’s classes or even among the smartest of my class all the way through high school and into my first year of college. I can’t remember ever feeling hugely inferior, but I do remember being irritated always being in the mid level groups, but not irritated enough to do anything about it. I’m not even sure I realized there was something I could do about it.

Long about sophomore year in college, I took a sociology class, taught by a highly unconventional professor. Although I cannot remember the details, I remember how infuriated my classmates used to be in this class. They couldn’t understand his methods. He didn’t follow a lesson-plan. He didn’t test us. He required us to write papers about odd topics. What amused me most was that I understood exactly what he was trying to do, from the very beginning. I sat there, day in and day out listening to him speak, wishing I could stand up to say to my classmates, “Just hold on…eventually what he’s doing will make sense to you.”. The first time I wrote a paper for him, I received an A+. The second time I wrote a paper for him, I received an A+ and so on. I couldn’t believe it. One of the by-products of taking his class was the realization that if I knew who my audience was, I could really write. I started applying this to my other classes. It worked every time. Before I turned around twice, I was a straight “A” student.

Who? ME?

The key, I believe, was in my applying myself. How many of us used to get the report from parent-teacher conferences: “Does not work to full potential”, “failure to apply oneself”. I never knew what that even meant until college.

Junior year in college, I was looking for an easy credit to take for my P.E. requirement so I took, “Walking”. (I fig ured I already had a jump on this one since I’d learned to walk early in life.) Imagine my chagrin when it turned out that this was one of the tougher classes I’d ever taken. Ha, the joke was on all of us looking for an easy “A”. We were tested every week on anatomy, physiology, health, fitness, nutrition etc. In addition to this we were required to do “timed” walks several miles a day, right from the very first day. Again, I made a shocking discovery: I liked to finish first. By then end of this class, I was actually running five miles each period and because I enjoyed “winning”, I was pushing myself harder and harder. No one scored higher than I did. No one went faster than I did.

What’s the point? I grew up thinking I wasn’t athletic. I always knew I had a quick wit, but I don’t think I ever realized just how capable and smart I could be until later in life. I don’t think anyone ever really put a label on me or threatened me in any way, but I definitely lived under a mistaken impression for a while.

I wonder how many of us are still living under a mistaken identity?

Today is a perfect day to reflect on the fact that we are all part of a consistent evolution.

What can you do today that you thought you’d never be doing in your life? What do you still want to do?

We’re not wearing concrete shoes, ya know. What are you waiting for?

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NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on discontent, because the Word says: “I have learned in whatever state (circumstances) I am, to be content.” (Philippians 4:11)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on unworthiness, because the Word says: “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Corinthians 5:21)

NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on confusion, because the Word says: “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14)

Prayer for Today:
Each day is a blessing
of epic proportions.
I give thanks for
what might seem meager comforts:
real cream in my coffee,
a day without a bill in the mail,
the Paso Doble.
Sometimes life is a dance
a woman has to do backwards
pushing against the wind
and obstacles in the way.
Thank You for being the partner
who always leads.
-Ruth Williams

 

 

Cleanse Update, Day 4

 

Guilty!

Confessing my sins.

Yesterday was a mixed bag of up and downs. For the most part I did very well. The shakes went down well, I took my walk, I even took a long soak. I planned every single detail of what I would do in the evening. YET…..

I cannot tell a lie. Despite all of my efforts, I cheated. (Argh!) Last night we had decided to do steaks, fingerlings and steamed broccoli for dinner. I was doing just fine until I got in the kitchen. All of the sudden I felt like I’d literally been struck in the heart with a horrible feeling…deep sadness mixed with a little anger. It felt like a vice grip on my heart. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I felt like someone had just hurt my feelings in the cruelest possible way.

I tried everything. I stopped what I was doing and prayed for strength. I ate a salad. I went out for a short walk. I sat down and tried to be rational about where the feeling was coming from. I even tried to write about it. Nothing came.

When my hubs came in from walking the dog, he took one look at me and he knew what I was contemplating. At first he said he was not going to say a word because whatever words he chose would be wrong. Then he reminded me that I had been working the plan like a pro and that the only person imposing the no wine rule was me. (It isn’t part of the actual “plan” I am on- I threw it in.) I kept telling him I refused to fail. Yet there I sat in misery. He told me it isn’t wrong for me to indulge one day a week. I know that. Two glasses of wine is a far cry from falling down drunk over consumption. Still, in my heart I felt a total failure.

My brain urged me to go immediately to the kitchen and stuff my face with dinner. My stubbornness refused. “I. Don’t. Wanna.”

So there ya have it. I had one glass of white wine. I had one glass of red wine. Then, I had dinner and it was delicious.

I could spend the day feeling like crap because I cheated (I do feel crappy about it) or I can do something constructive. Today I am right back on the plan and because I indulged last night, I will accompany the hubs to the gym today to do my penance. Oh, how I hate the gym!

I remain determined to stay the course and so I will push forward and not allow last night to fester into more failure. ❤️

Progress, not perfection, right?

 

 

Tenskwatawa

 tenskwatawa
All of my friends and family know I pay attention when the great spirits beyond start to invade my space!  The other night I turned over in bed to see a Native American -in full regalia-standing in the doorway.  For a split second our eyes met and then he disappeared.  I closed my eyes, made a mental, “what was THAT” note and tried to fall back asleep.  Just a few minutes later I looked over my shoulder to the foot of the bed and felt his presence there again.  In my mind I said, “What is your name?”  Instantly I heard, “Tecumseh”and I made another mental note: “look up Tecumseh in the morning.”
During the next few moments I knew instinctively that he was praying for me. In his eyes, I saw great compassion and understanding. I was not afraid.

The next morning, still scratching my head, I decided to do a little research to see if I could find this person in history.  Of course, it was easy as “Tecumseh” is in fact, a prominent figure. He was the Native American Leader of the Shawnee.

When I looked through the pictures I found in my research,  I was startled to find that it wasn’t “Tecumseh” I saw, but rather, his brother, Tenskwatawa, who had stopped by for a visit.  I believe he used the name, “Tecumseh” because it was easy for me to remember (and to spell) and because apparently wherever Tecumseh is mentioned, his brother is also mentioned.

What I found about him is profound (to me).  Tenskwatawa, was apparently born a klutz, same as me.  LOL.  What I remembered about seeing him in my room was a distinctive marking over his eye.  The history books say that he was so bad at fighting, his brothers refused to teach him hunting techniques and that the mark on his face came from a wayward arrow that hit him in the eye.   He spent a good part of his life learning the ways of his tribe’s medicine man but he was not received within, as a prophet, until much later in life.

This takes me back to a Bible phrase, I am constantly referring to: ” A prophet is not without honor, but in his own home town.”

He spent a huge part of his life as an alcoholic.  Finally in later years, while smoking a pipe, he went into a trance.  His family thought he was dead and so began to prepare for burial when suddenly he awakened and began to relate his experience of visiting with “The Master of Life”.  He urged his people to return to their old ways and if they did, they would have, “an open door”.  The whites called him, “The Prophet”.  His name literally meant, “The Open Door”.

Apparently he lead a great deal of people for a long time but ended his life with only a few friends and family and apparently back in the bottle again.  Interestingly, the  places he lived and settled are places I frequently pass on the way to Chicago and so forth.

What does all this even mean in the large scale of things and why am I taking my time to write it all out for you?

I won’t relate every single detail of his message to me.  Suffice it to say he spoke to exactly what is going on in my life and he also foretold to me what could happen to me if I don’t get off my duff and start living my life back in the light.

I didn’t ask him to come to me.  I didn’t even know he existed prior to this visitation.  But I remembered him and took the time to find out who he is.

This is happening to all of us ALL the time.  Whether you believe this was an actual visitation or just a dream, it makes no difference, because the message I received was loud and clear.  You are ALSO receiving constant messages through your experiences and dreams.  It’s important to recognize these are messages to learn from.  Nothing happens at random in this Universe. All of heaven is standing at the ready to help each one of us, we need only ask, believe and receive.

I’ve been doing a whole lot of surrendering lately.  The more I pray for God’s will in my life, the more the signs appear to point me in the right direction.  The more I count my Blessings, the more abundant my Blessings are.

The same is true for you.  I promise.

 

 

Cleanse Update, Day 3

slow-but-steady-wins-the

Extra. Extra. Read all about it! I made it through Wednesday and Thursday, the hardest two days of the work week for me! I am so pleased and happy to report that it wasn’t as hard as I’d imagined it might be. Steady as she goes!

The absolute key for me is being prepared. Thursday’s are sometimes really draining for me; which can trigger hard emotions; which in turn trigger me to want to run home and unwind with alcohol. Knowing this, yesterday morning I made a mental note of what steps I would take in order to NOT come home and pour myself a drink.

Let’s just be brutally honest here. I have no problem giving up two meals per day and replacing them with protein shakes. I don’t miss the food one bit. The Usana plant-based protein shakes are fun and easy for me. I like crafting different flavors each day. (This morning I added a tiny bit of almond butter and coconut water to the cappuccino flavor package and the result was delicious.) What I don’t like is not being able to enjoy my wine with dinner. I do not like it at all. So far though, with careful planning, it hasn’t been the huge issue I thought it would be.

Yesterday’s visit with the Parental Units was fun. We talked mostly about all of the dogs in the family and I shared a lot of photos and videos of the animals with them. We also shared a lot of silly stories from years past and the conversation stayed upbeat. (Thank you, Lord.)

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That’s not ketchup, it’s Sriracha. Overdid that a little bit!

On the way home I stopped at the market and picked up some more yogurt and some bath salts and even a little hard candy, just in case I needed it. I admit to feeling pretty crabby by the time I got home. Vodka crossed my mind a time or two or fifty, but I powered through and went to the kitchen to prepared dinner. (Last night we had Mahi Mahi and it was delicious.) Once I’ve eaten dinner and am satisfied, the crazy, wanton thoughts usually subside.

 

We played with the dogs and watched movies until bedtime and it was lovely.

This morning I was rudely awakened with the fact that today is Friday. Friday is always homemade pizza and wine night in our household. I love Friday evenings at home. While I was in the kitchen making my shakes for the day, I was feeling high anxiety thinking about what tonight might bring. One side of my brain kept telling me how much I need to stay the course and the other argued that it’s just one night a week. Yeah, right. It’s NOT just one night a week. If I were to allow myself one cheat night, what’s to stop me from two? I can’t do that.

What helped tremendously was when my beloved hubs came into the kitchen and told me how proud he is that I am sticking to my guns on this cleanse. We decided dinner tonight will be the two filet mignon he brought home a day ago and we’ll make some organic fingerlings and steamed broccoli to go with them. Although it’s not the fish we’d talked about doing, somehow, his encouraging words and the fact that we are switching up our menu brought me comfort. I don’t know why my brain thinks I need to have wine to celebrate the end of the work week. I don’t. There are plenty of other things to do.

You know what else helps? Being able to write this out, publish it and not care who might see it or what he/she may think. Many people I don’t even know have sent me private notes of support and encouragement. I appreciate it so much. Even if no one said a word, having a place to journal thoughts and feelings and ideas is a positive thing.

For a long time I covered myself, guarded my personal thoughts and generally hid anything important to me because people in my immediate circle frowned on my sharing. In retrospect I know it’s the conforming to other people’s ideas of how I should live and what I should share that has held me back and down and covered up in evening cocktails. Not any more.

I took my Day 4 selfie. I still look really tired and despite the fact that my sleep is getting increasingly better, I still feel really tired. I imagine it will take many more nights of uninterrupted sleep to actually feel and look rested, so I refuse to be discouraged.

I remain encouraged. I will stay the course! (And I might even find my way to the gym tomorrow. We shall see!) ♥


Lime-Marinated Mahi Mahimahi-mahi

Ingredients:

3/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 clove garlic, minced

1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper

1 pinch salt

2 tablespoons lime juice

Zest of 2 limes

2 (4 ounce) Mahi Mahi fillets

Directions:

Preheat a grill pan at medium heat, coat with olive oil (I also use real butter)

Whisk the extra-virgin olive oil, minced garlic, black pepper, cayenne pepper, salt, lime juice, and grated lime zest together in a bowl to make the marinade.

Place the Mahi Mahi fillets in a zip lock bag, add the marinade; allow to marinate at least 15 minutes.

Cook on the preheated grill pan until the fish flakes easily with a fork and is lightly browned, 3 to 4 minutes per side.

Garnish with the twists of lime zest to serve.

 

 

 

 

Cleanse Day 3, Update

take the step

Cocktail consumer Alexis would fall asleep shortly before 9:00 PM; sleep until 11:00 PM; wake up to go upstairs to bed; then sleep until 2:30 or 3:00 AM. From there it would be a failed battle to stay off the Internet until around 5:30 AM, when sleep would be intermittent at best. The whole shebang would end at 7:00 AM when it was time to rise to meet the day.

This morning I actually slept until almost 8:00 AM, which is highly unusual for me. I can only attribute it to the fact that I am continuing to execute my cleanse plan. I was awakened again about four or five times, needing to pop into the ladies room, but each time, I was able to fall right back to sleep with very little effort. When my hubs came to awaken me this morning, I was in total shock by what time it was.

I am very encouraged by yesterday’s efforts. I knew it would be hard having to work in the morning and then cook dinner for a huge crowd. As I reported in yesterday’s update, I did experience the usual, “Why am I doing this? Why can’t I just go home and have one or two drinks to relax? I don’t have to tell anyone.” Of course, the other side of my brain knew better.

Shortly before we started breaking down the kitchen to clean, I forced myself to eat dinner. It wasn’t easy because I was hot and defiant Alexis didn’t want to! However, I knew that if I didn’t, the chances of my going home hungry and pouring myself a cocktail stood at about 98%. I thought it through all the way to how I would feel waking up this morning knowing I couldn’t follow this plan for even two straight days. (Argh! To be honest it pissed me off. It angers me that I’ve gotten into this habit so much that it’s a chore to break.)

Two pieces of fish, a pile of rice pilaf and some Italian green beans later, I was satisfied. On the way home I thought about the things I wanted to do that would keep my mind, body and soul engaged in non-alcoholic activities. Tops on the list was taking my new dog, Sam, on a long walk and then settling in to read some new blogs.  Check. Check. I did both.

As a treat, I pulled out some organic, all natural yogurt and I giggled my head off when my husband tasted it and declared mightily, “OH MY GAWD, that tastes like ASS! It’s ASS with a side of sour fruit!” He’s a sweets person. I am not. I thought it was great! It’s a brand called, “siggi’s”. I highly recommend it! (siggisdairy.com)

Today on my way home from visiting my parents, I will stop at the health food store and pick up some more yogurt and some more super cool bath stuff. Those who know me already know that Thursday visits with my parents can spell disaster in the emotional department, so believe me, I must have my armor ready.

I will need extra prayers for strength for the time just prior to and right when I get home today. Although I have a plan, a hard visit with “The Units” (my sister and I nicknamed our parents this eons ago) can throw a wrench into almost anything.

I took my Day 3 selfie this morning and thought I looked better yesterday. Of course, I hate nearly every photo taken of me, so there’s that. First thing this morning when I looked in the mirror I could see a trace of “Less Puffy Me” and I smiled.

Day 3 Summary: I’m happy. I’m Blessed. I feel good, but I’ve still got one eye open for the demon temptation who wants to take me down.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. James 1: 2-3

Tonight’s menu will be Mahi-Mahi, sauteed apsaragus and left over coconut rice mixed with whatever I decide to mix it with. My thoughtful husband went out this morning and rented the latest “Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles” movie, so we’ll eat dinner and then curl up and watch it together.

Prayers up. Over and Out until tomorrow. ❤